Rambling on about fate, faith, bad timing, and the choices we swear we thought through…

People love to say, “Everything happens for a reason.” It sounds comforting, doesn’t it? Like the universe has a clipboard, a headset, and a very detailed schedule. Missed the bus? Reason. Got your heart broken? Reason. Burned the toast, lost your keys, stepped in something suspicious before 9 a.m.? Apparently, also a reason.

I want to believe that. I really do. I want to imagine life is not just out here throwing darts in the dark while we stand in front of the board holding coffee and making plans. But some days, that phrase feels less like wisdom and more like something people say when they don’t know what else to say.

Because if everything happens for a reason, then what exactly is the reason behind the hard stuff? Why do bad things happen to good people? Why do kind hearts get cracked open? Why do people who try their best still end up standing in the middle of a mess they did not order, did not ask for, and definitely would not have chosen from the menu?

Maybe life is action and reaction. We make a choice, then that choice makes a little ripple, and before we know it, we are floating somewhere we never expected to be. We choose people. We choose jobs. We choose words. We choose silence. We choose to stay, to leave, to forgive, to hold a grudge, to take the long way home because traffic “looked bad,” only to find out the long way had three tractors and a funeral procession.

Choices matter. That much feels true. We do help shape our own paths. Every yes and no becomes a brick in the road, even the ones we laid down while tired, scared, stubborn, or convinced we knew better. Spoiler alert: sometimes we did not know better.

But then there are “the things” beyond us. Circumstances. Timing. Other people’s choices. Illness. Loss. Accidents. Doors that close without asking our opinion. Storms that roll in even though we checked the forecast and left the raincoat at home. That is where the tidy little “reason” theory gets wobbly. Where we tend to get hung up on the idea of reasons and fall into the wondering maze.

Maybe God does have a plan for us all. Maybe there is a bigger picture we cannot see from our tiny little corner of the canvas. Maybe what feels random is not random at all. Or maybe God gives us breath, choices, people, lessons, and grace—and then walks with us through whatever unfolds, whether we caused it, chose it, or just survived it. I myself, lean more toward this…

I do not know if every single little thing happens for a reason. I know that is not the answer people usually want. We like answers wrapped up neatly with a bow and to sound reasonable. But life is not always neat. Sometimes it is beautiful. Sometimes it is brutal. Sometimes it is both before lunch.

What I do believe is that meaning can grow in strange places. Even if the pain did not arrive for a good reason, something good can still rise from the ashes of it. Wisdom. Compassion. Strength. A new direction. A better boundary. Deeper faith. A story we never wanted but somehow learned how to carry.

So maybe the better question is not, “Did this happen for a reason?” Maybe it is, “What now?” What do I do with this? What can I learn? Who do I become next? Do I let this make me bitter, softer, wiser, funnier, more careful, more grateful? Or… depending on the day and the weight of it all do I just have faith and trust and keep moving no matter what is happening?

Life is different for all of us. Some roads are smooth, some are gravel, and some are pig trails through the woods. We each carry our own questions, our own faith, our own regrets, our own little suitcase full of “Well, that did not go as planned.”

Maybe everything happens for a reason. Maybe some things happen because of choices. Maybe some things happen because the world is wild, people are complicated, and control is mostly an illusion wearing a referee cap and giving hand signals we don’t understand.

Either way, life is what it is, as some folks say. But we still get to decide how we walk through it. We still get to choose kindness when life is not kind. We still get to look for light without pretending the dark was fun. We still get to ask God the hard questions, even if the answers take their sweet time showing up.

And maybe that is reason enough for today… at least for me.