I am used to going through seasons of attack, of trials, of trying to make sense of the world around me. I wish I weren’t, but I am.

Today, my mind is full of chaos and questions. I feel the weight of a million bad decisions, along with the ache of not being heard, seen, or cared for. There is a heaviness in that kind of silence—a loneliness that settles deep. I share this with some of those whose actions weigh on me. I feel an ache

I miss the people who once helped hold my world together. Their absence is felt in ways I can hardly explain, in the empty spaces where comfort and steadiness used to live.

Sometimes I daydream about the life I thought I would have. I look ahead at the future, and it feels daunting—almost surreal. Like something I am supposed to step into, but do not fully recognize.

So, I keep wishing. On stars. On candles. On dandelions carried off by the wind. Small, fragile acts of hope thrown into a reality that often feels stark. And still, more often than I want to admit, I feel lost. I wish answers to issues just came to me like words do usually. Today, even the words are garbled and seem far off.

Maybe that is what today is.. a day of garbled words, tangled thoughts, and a heart too tired to make everything make sense. Maybe not every feeling has to be neatly explained. Maybe some days are simply meant to be carried, one breath at a time.

And so I breathe. I daydream and write what I can. I let the words come out broken if they must. Because even garbled words are still words. Even confusion speaks. Even weariness tells the truth.

And perhaps that truth is enough for today. Some days I don’t get answers, just need to heal in the quiet and let the roar inside of me die down. Everything that is broken can’t be fixed in a minute, some things need time to be solved and for me to evolve. Time for some porch sitting on a rainy afternoon, now that soothes the soul and mind…