The biggest challenge I will face in the next six months… Cataract surgery. It is what is next on the list of getting older and needing repair. I know, I know, it is a simple thing… or so I have been told. But for me, it is one thing I am fearful of. I know, silly, but I can remember when I was 13 years old, and my Pawpaw had it, cataract surgery. Yes, that was a long time ago. I am 67 now. I can remember him coming home, and I asked him how it went and whether he was going to be okay. He answered me like this, “Yes, it was easy, they just flipped my eyeball out on my cheek, did a snip, snip, and popped it back in…” For a girl of 13, it stuck. I could not imagine my eyeball “popping” out or in!

My appointment is next month for the initial visit, because everything is a process in this world now. For me, operations to fix my parts have been a blessing… a bionic ankle and knee, my weight loss surgery, and my gallbladder. Carpel tunnel surgery, both left and right. All my bionic parts come from wear and tear, and the fallout of a disabling accident when I was 32. I have never been sick. My fear comes from the memory of a 13-yr old that still lives inside. I know it is time to face this, but I admit my heart is hesitant to go into it with ease, but I will. My husband, Michael, is the inspiration behind my bravery that helps me take on surgery. He had about 18 surgeries for his cancer, while I worried, he always told me not to, he would say, “There is no expiration date on the bottom of my foot honey, I am not going until God says…” So, I will do the things and take the steps… it is for me “recovery” that worries me. How long will I be needy, and how long must I rest? Rest is not something I do well, nor is depending on others. But God is in the details, I say. He has never left me hanging or down too long without his mercy and grace.

As I look ahead to this new challenge, I realize that fear is a natural companion to change, especially when it comes to our health. The stories we carry from childhood hold surprising power, shaping our reactions even decades later. Still, I am determined to trust the process, lean on Michael’s encouragement, and remember that every time I’ve faced a medical hurdle, I’ve emerged stronger.

This time, I want to approach recovery with patience and self-compassion, reminding myself that healing may require more rest than I’d like but is a necessary step. I will try to accept help with grace, finding comfort in knowing that God’s presence surrounds me through each stage. Ultimately, I hope to look back on this experience and see it not as something to be feared, but as another chapter where resilience and faith carried me forward.