Rambling on about things and trying to find balance…

It’s strange how the stillness of a Saturday night can amplify feelings, making the quiet seem heavier while the world outside feels a bit more distant. As the usual noise and energy fade away, the silence brings a new awareness and seems to magnify emotions. I find myself creating a space that feels separate from the chaos and daily hustle and bustle just beyond my gates as I settle in at home.

In moments like this, I find myself searching for meaning in the everyday, trying to hold onto small rituals and comforts as a way to anchor myself. These familiar actions, such as washing clothes, cooking, straightening a stack of books, or simply sitting by the window, have become grounding forces that help me navigate the uncertainty outside. I am here. I am home. I am piddling about doing, sitting, and pondering the state of things. Things I never imagined I would ever, not ever, be thinking, seeing, and experiencing. I am aghast at the ignorance and the silence. The silence is the scariest part of the dystopian world we live in. I do not know how to even plan for tomorrow, this is a day-to-day world now. 

Despite the chaos that seems to swirl beyond my doorstep, there’s a peculiar solace in this solitude, this nesting I do here at the end of my dead-end dirt road. Here I have a chance to simply be, without the noise and expectations of the world pressing in. The quiet offers a rare opportunity for reflection and peace, transforming an otherwise lonely evening into a time for gentle self-connection and calm. You know, when people say, Be kind, you don’t know what someone may be going through. I feel that deeply, but at the same time, I want to scream out and ask WHY? WHEN? HOW? I do not, cannot, see what is ahead anymore, but I feel it… I feel something coming that will change everything. It has already started, of that, I am sure.

 But today was a new day, Sunday… today I slept late for me, I got up to my morning rituals and took a walkabout on the acres. It is a windy day as another cold front moves in to send us into freeze warnings for a couple of days. The wind this morning was blowing leaves all about as I walked, it was invigorating for me. I appreciate the help from God to push the tons of leaves on my acres to the edges and off into the woods. I had a date with my old friend for lunch and a Sunday afternoon drive. It was a wonderful afternoon, brunch at Cracker Barrel, a ride to her son’s new house and a tour, a ride around the back roads, and a talk… I am now sitting in my queen chair, reflecting on the emotions and issues we shared. We both needed the talk and a time out. Tomorrow is Monday, and my week starts again outside my gates… Tonight, there is no news on, no social media, no anything but my computer and a Serial Killer program to calm my nerves. I will continue cycling through things… It is my path, and as my daddy said, more times than I can count, Keep moving, don’t stop, you have to keep going. So I am walking in faith, God is the leader. Listen to Your Soul…
   “I keep my eyes always on the Lord. With Him at my right hand. I will not be shaken.”
                                                         Psalm 16:8
Remember, we are all hurting and going through things… Just Be Kind…