Rambling on about To-Do List, Boundaries, Solitude, and Self-Care….

We all have a to-do list. Whether it’s scribbled in a journal, tapped out in a phone app, or jotted down mentally, these lists capture our intentions, goals, and responsibilities. Some items are routine such as chores, groceries, work tasks, but there are  others that linger, left unchecked, quietly haunting us. For me the most persistent item is not an errand or a household task, but something deeply personal, enforcing boundaries with those we love.

Each week, my list is a collection of necessities, what I call “gathering supplies.” This reflects my approach to life: preparation, caretaking, and a preference for the sanctuary of home. The world outside has felt increasingly heavy over the past decade—a weight that my empathic soul finds overwhelming. Home offers relief, a place to recharge and reconnect with myself. I do not live alone, I built a family compound of sorts. Somehow, I also am the only one that realizes that life costs, things must be done, and upkeep is necessary. This to-do thing is making it where I am not finding peace in the one place that is my haven.

Among the crossed-off chores and completed errands, one item remains uncrossed, the enforcement of boundaries. I rehearse what I want to say, sometimes obsessively, but ultimately, I set those intentions aside. Instead, I allow those close to me to act as they wish, ignoring my own needs and feelings. The cost of this avoidance is high—pain, exhaustion, and a sense of invisibility. It’s a form of suffering that accumulates, quietly debilitating and isolating.

As an empath, the world’s sorrows seep into my spirit. The last ten years have been particularly draining, making the comfort of home a necessity rather than a luxury. Yet, even within my refuge, the lack of boundaries means I’m often left to handle everything alone. The help I need is rarely offered; accountability and peace feel out of reach. I struggle, glossing over difficulties and doing what I must because no one else will.

I’ve reached a crux. The ongoing difficulties, the loneliness, and the weariness have become unbearable. The consequences of not addressing this long-standing item on my to-do list have become impossible to ignore. The urge to run away grows stronger, but perhaps it signals that it’s finally time—to speak up, to draw the line, and to hold firm, despite the fallout, because running way is sounding better every day.

After all, I am already carrying the burden alone. The exhaustion from asking, begging, and being dismissed has left me spent. The reality is that neglecting this boundary only deepens my suffering. Perhaps what’s needed now is not another rehearsal, but a decisive commitment to myself to do what I’ve long meant to do. The to-do list may never be fully done, but some items are too important to leave unchecked. Enforcing boundaries is not just another task; it’s a declaration of self-worth and a step toward peace. While the fallout may be difficult, the cost of inaction is greater. For anyone who recognizes themselves in these words, may we find the courage to do what we mean to do, and in doing so, discover the help, peace, and accountability we so deeply need.