If Only, and Hindsight, wonderful thoughts.

If Only… If only we knew at times that the “time” we are living through, that the moments we are enjoying and living through will be fleeting in reality. I suppose that is why the people that are older in our lives tell us to enjy the times and cherish the memories. I am ay a place in life where I have lived longer han I ever will again, so yes, I have times I would go back to, days I would like to relive. I find myself lost at times in the memories of thise times, while I watch the sunrise with my witches brew and ease into my day. While I sit at night and my mind wanders to the corners of my mind and gently nudge the memories to play like an old VCR tape in my mind I can rewind over and over again… The joy in remebering them is a gift, one I have come to realize is the real treasure in life.

So, what time would I relive, would I ask for a doover with? I suppose as life has been lived my choices for this have changed a bit. There was a year, a summer, the summer of 2017. A treasure still in my mind. I had ankle surgery to rebuild my ankle, it had a three month rehab, no weightbearing time. My grandkids were young and they stayed with me for months, my house was fllled with npise, laughter and joy, the kids played all day in and out and the tire swing outside my bedroom window was bst oof and on all day. We painted rocks, hunted then and hid them. There were night of movie watching and storytelling and my tiny house was filled with the most wonderful energy! Now they are grown up and living life and I miss the noise. I would live that summer again without hesitation… I carry the laughter and joy in my heart still.

The year 2019 is another, I had weight loss surgery at 60, I shed years of heaviness, regained mobility since the ankle surgery gave me freedom from my disbaility. I went to the gym, with grandkids in tow, we had a ball. I lost 170 pounds and found I could once again hike the trails in state parks, walk myself through historic sites and interact with the world in a way I had been unable to for years, too many years… I was lighter, in body and soul. I looked forward to waking up,to seeing what I could do today and how I could enjoy life with those I loved. The best of times..again.

When I read this question I sat with it for a while, at first I considered the time of meeting my huband and the years we had toegther, the times my mom and dad and I were in a good place and family vacations and events. But the realty is it in the ordinary days, the times that seem like nothing special that the real treasure is found. FOr me, these times of struggle and victiry shared with people that speak to my heart and soul, that is what I woud relive… Thankfully I can do that, I just have to st and stir up the emeories that are stored in my mind… buried treasure that can be relived even if only in my mind…