Rambling on about God, chaos, and a feeling…

Welcome to October, it is finally cooler and less oppressive outside. I wish the world outside my gates was as temperate as the seasonal change. I’m so very weary of living in the chaos, the misinformation and lies are overwhelming and as the journey of my life continues, I feel I’m moving, wandering into a place where fear and anxiety are waiting to attach to my soul…

How is anyone not feeling alarms go off in their head, their heart, their soul… do you not see the contradiction to everything we were taught in Sunday school and church, did you not ever listen in history class, did you not hear the conversation and stories from the grandparents as I did? How can you stay quiet, how do you pervert the truth and our history into something that demeans, destroys, and incites such vileness and hate. The truth now has to be uncovered. It has to be sought out and checked. It used to be given freely and respected.

I came home last night looking at the moon, a reminder of the beauty of this world we live in…
I cried as I drove, the weight of the world’s heaviness, its chaos, its confusion ran down my face as I drove wishing I could spend time with the ghosts of those I carry inside of me. Those who helped me become the person I am. The ones who taught me to value truth, respect others, respect life, to Know God, and be kind and honest.

I can hear in my mind, “Even to your old age I am he, and to gray hairs I will carry you. I have made, and I will bear; I will carry and will save”. Isaiah 46:4. This verse reassures me and reminds me and believers that God’s care and support extend throughout their entire lives, even into old age. I hear this verse, and at the same time I wonder, have I just lived too long? What is my purpose, life’s purpose for me? What does God want from me, expect…. I then tell myself, I am here, so there is a reason.

I feel something coming, I’m not sure what or how or when… But I know something is coming and it will change the world I grew up in. Ignorance and hate are fueling the change, and there seems to be no stopping it. It makes me appreciate the past, it gives me pause to see the way ahead, to find a more intentional path forward. I hear a God Whisper, “Be still and know” Psalm 46:10

I will continue, the journey continues onward and I walk forward as each day is given to me. I hear this; “God is within her, she will not fail. God will help her at the break of day.” Psalm 46:5 When I wake up, when I take the first breath of consciousness each morning, God is tasking me with the job of walking into the day. If He wakes me, He has a plan. I would like to grab the world by the shoulders and shake it. Begging it to come to its senses, to deny the hate, racism, lies and violence and come back to seeing the truth and the light. But for now, I watch, I listen, and I pray for the strength to search for what is good, what is right in His view, and to follow His path. I hope you find your peace today and feel His strength rise in your heart. He is there, Be still and Know… rest in His love if you need too… Share your thoughts, speak up, it is up to us to save the world. God gives us free will, the strength, and chances… use them as best you can.