This question could not have come at a more opportune time. Today I have sat and read my morning news, tried to get help from the county road department, and surveillance the mess of last night’s storm that occurred while I was at work… so here it goes.

The ignorance and silence of so many that I once thought to be friends, family, and intelligent people is overwhelmingly sad. They are either complicit in the madness affecting our country or silently thinking they can just hide from it and are in denial of the truth. It’s heartbreaking 💔

I’m so very tired of the lack of accountability and interest in making things better in our county. They are stuck in a pattern of good ole boy politics that do nothing but help a few. I’m so tired of begging for things that should be taken care of and done properly.

The idea that this country is being led into fascism and rich nasty corrupt men and women are trying to force warped “religious” ideals on us all when in reality they are taking from us to give to them ultra rich, and lining their own pockets.

I’m bothered by the state of the weather patterns, the flooding, fires, and the loss of lives and destruction.  The idea that the government is watching, just watching… denying help to those they choose, and coming very late to the party for others, it’s horrendous that we are here.

I’m bothered by the inhumanity I see oozing from every corner of this country. That men and women think the internment camps/ concentration camps we are building in this country are a reality. That masked men, criminals mostly themselves, are snatching people with no warrants or proof, that they are “arresting” honest, hard-working citizens, and imprisoning them. That we are shipping humans to places like the Sudan, and El Salvador which are terrorist places. This is not what I ever imagined this country could be. We are no longer the land of the free and brave. Instead, we are doing a repeat of Nazi Germany and white supremacy is rising untethered as so-called Christians watch and lead the march.

I am bothered by the split in my First United Methodist Church.  I am bothered that in the red south, I can not go to church and feel welcome. I have been spat at and cussed at and verbally attacked because of a women’s right bumper sticker. I do not understand the vile and ugly I see, it bothers me, pains me, both mentally and physically. 

I have lived through 67 years in this country, and I can hardly stand to call it The United States anymore.  It bothers me that the truth is so hard to hear, to see, or to believe for so many. It bothers me that there is so little decency or respect left among us, and that so many love to agitate and hurt others. All of this bothers me, it causes me a heavy heart and makes my soul so very heavy… I’m bothered by the loss of sanity, empathy, and peace. This all bothers me because I am an empath. I feel the darkness so deep, I spend so much time trying to rise above it, to slough off the pain and heaviness and find the light. I’m tired, weary to the bone but I can’t stop, it’s not who I am. It bothers me to even consider giving up, staying silent, or pretending not to see. So I walk each day, guarded a bit but walking through, wielding my faith, and trying to be part of the good. I know no other way…